It’s common to try to use a lot of effort in metta practice. Firstly to prevent attention from drifting to distractions, and secondly to summon up the feeling of metta. But this approach inevitably results in frustration and a sense of failure.
When it comes to steadying attention/preventing distractions, force is the wrong tool. The mind is a complex system and not all parts of your mind will be in agreement about how to best use attention. Some will be trying to meditate, some will want to think about and do other things. It’s not a failure when other intentions arise - that’s just part of the process. So instead of trying to hold the impossible intention to have perfect control over the mind, which will always lead to negative feedback, just do the only thing it’s possible to do, which is to apply clear, gentle intentions, repeated when needed.
Clear intentions, gently applied, responsively repeated.
This is true of steadying attention, and it is also true when it comes to creating a spark of metta. More effort won’t get you more metta. That would be like thinking that you could pet a kitty better if you had more grip strength; it’s not about force.
In this mode of relating to practice you only need to be concerned about the outcome of this intention in this moment. In this practice, we’re going to notice how you can hold engaging and effective intentions with very light and easeful degree of effort.
Duration: 19:17