Strong parts are almost always polarised with other parts that have conflicting strategies.
Adjacent to these polarities, mediator parts tend to arise that see the conflict—which may be causing distress and taking up a lot of energy—and think “oh no, a strong polarisation, I have to find some way of dealing with this”.
This practice is to help you get to know the parts from both sides of a polarisation. When these parts feel that they’re being understood and cared for, and their concerns are being taken seriously, they can start to relax.
And when mediator parts notice that you can hold space for whatever’s arising, and that your kind curious compassionate awareness is soothing for the warring parts, they’re able to take a break too.
Polarisations are like two people in a boat, leaning further and further out of opposite sides to try to counter the other and keep the boat balanced. Very often they’re trying to protect the same thing, but just using different strategies.
For myself, the pattern this often takes is that one part will be saying “protect this pain by doing something urgently to fix it” and another part will be saying “protect this pain by avoiding/numbing out/not thinking about it”. These strategies don’t mesh very well! But when you (i.e. Self) are there to listen to both and find a balanced approach, they can save a lot of the energy that goes into fighting with each other. There’s also the offer of hope that whatever they’re protecting can be healed, and they won’t need to work so hard to protect it in the first place!
Polarisations large and small are ubiquitous, and getting used to working with them is a key part of this approach.
Duration: 17:27